I met an Italian gentlemen the other day. He admitted to having downloaded 'The IT Crowd', so I tackled him to the ground and sat on him until the police arrived. Not really!

No, instead I patiently waited for him to finish while I secretly called the police on my mobile. He said "...I downloaded it and showed it to two or three friends. When I asked them if they wanted to watch it again and they told me no because they had already bought the DVDs."

In other words, because of one illegal downloader, three Italian people, who might otherwise never have heard of my show, all bought the DVD.

Now, I'm no Stephen Hawking, but let me see if I've got the maths right here... where I could have made no money, I made some money. Is that about it? Hurray! I could use some money! Conversely, "no money" is of very little value to me.

The annoying thing about a rule like #threestrikes is that it completely ignores the nature of the world most of us actually live in. I guess the view from the Rothschilds musn't be that good, because here on earth, we like to SHARE, and laws like #threestrikes are merely temporary, obnoxious bulwarks against an aspect of human nature that should be, if anything, encouraged. Of course, the flipside to a ravenous fan who acts as an unpaid publicist for something they love is someone who steals without giving anything back and yes, we need to talk about that too, but something like #threestrikes doesn't separate these two groups. That's just one of the many reasons why it's a bullshit proposal.

Needless to say, when the police arrived, I pointed them in the direction of Peter Mandelson, who was nearby, having dinner with a giant novelty cheque. They chased Mandelson but he got away. He's always one step ahead!